Avoiding conflict doesn't serve us or them.

I know it sounds crazy, but standing up for yourself is loving them. When we choose politeness we are choosing our comfort over the relationship, over the growth opportunity for both of us.

We can love ourselves and them at the same time. We can share our hurts and speak our truth, and it can make things better.

The way to do this is by practicing co-commitment.

Co-commitment is communicating in a way where disagreements can be a source of connection instead of distance. It can be learned.

Miki and Velma will be teaching this in Martyr Free Mothering. Come get a sense of how we can work together and begin to loosen the grip of the good, polite girl.